Why is being organized so hard?!
My first round of supplies came in the mail. Hooray, pretty objects!
My toes tingled with materialistic glee – that feeling hovering right between excitement and panic – as I unboxed pastel pens, mild highlighters, thick lead mechanical pencils, an array of aesthetic sticky notes, fresh stiff reams of dot grid paper, kawaii erasers and correction tape, washi tape (!), a pencil case and ruler to fit in a 5A binder, and my binder notebook! There’s so much sensory pleasure in assembling a new binder and filling it with all the bits and bobs you picked out, and so much potential. Very back-to-school September cool blue skies cold dew wetting the hem of your new jeans grass stains on your Sketchers composition books full of crisp new pages waiting to be filled backpack bobbing under your optimistically high ponytail.
And then you get to school and bam bullies mean teachers homework homework boom pop quiz your locker’s full of moldy sandwiches and you didn’t get the part in the winter play and you’re like I was happy why now???
This pattern has been repeated so many times in my life I have a hard time not giving into it before I’ve even really tried to Not.
But I’m going… ok. My first big roadblock is that after being so excited about my binder idea, I’m not actually that into the binder. I couldn’t find an A5 with rings thick enough to hold more than a hundred sheets of paper, and even with that few, it’s really hard for me to open and close the rings while keeping all the pages in. Add my cute lil pencil case and ruler to the mix and it’s just not ideal. So I gave in and ordered a notebook. And also better erasers because it turns out the really cute ones barely function as erasers. And also some Muji pens because it turns out ditto, except sub pens for erasers. And I also needed a set of highlighters with much more variety in the colors.
Palm to the face. Repeated palms striking my face.
But no. It’s fine.
I’ve been using this time to practice making spreads, so I can get my inevitable fuckups out of the way, and to figure out the best layouts that waste the least amount of space without being cluttered. Stuff like that. And figuring out exactly which spreads I’m going to include, and in what order.
This is really hard for me? None of the tutorials I watch explain that this is hard – like even minimalist bullet journals. Maybe it’s not that hard for most people. To my brain it’s like calculus. (And in case you were wondering, calculus and my brain do not get along very well.)
Nevertheless she persisted.
small seasons 